The past year, I’ve become more and more out of shape. My bike riding dropped from a few hundred miles per month (600 at my peak) to months where I didn’t ride at all. I became less disciplined with what I ate, not resisting buying more ice cream and cookie dough and throwing out more salad that I bought but didn’t eat before it went bad. It didn’t help that I sustained a couple of injuries that ended up keeping me away from weights for months. I just didn’t have the passion to stay disciplined during this time.
And now there are jeans I can’t fit into that used to be too loose, and when I got back on the bike, a 25 mile ride was enough to make me suffer when a 40 mile hilly ride used to be cake. My knees hurt more due to the extra 25 lb. on them. I can’t even do a pull-up right now when I did 4 just a year ago. I can definitely see what I’ve lost.
The lack of passion for discipline carried over to my spiritual life as well. My guitars were silent for months at a time… my consistent worship to God only a memory. I didn’t wake up to prayer any more, and when I talked to God, it was always about me and prayers of frustration. I still tried to be obedient in showing God’s love, but I didn’t seek it out, either. I slowly realized that I wasn’t at the same place I had been in the past.
Now the question is, what am I going to do about it?
A month ago, I started working out again. I was embarrassed at how hard such light weights had become. I was also surprised how such low settings on an elliptical machine pushed my heartrate to a new maximum, and I felt like I should back it down a little because my heart wasn’t used to such intensity. I also started following my normal food discipline better. I’ve had several workouts where I did everything in me, but when I compared the results, I realized that I was maxing out at levels that were warmup levels for me a year ago. I’ve lost a few pounds and I’m pushing a bit more weight/reps than a month ago, and I feel lighter on my feet, but I’m still nowhere near where I was a year ago.
It is through this that I’ve started to realize how much like physical training that spiritual discipline is. Just because I started praying every day and worshiping regularly on my own doesn’t mean I’m back to where I used to be. We have to do it day in and day out.
In fact, the Body For Life program has you follow a specific food/exercise program for 6 days, but on the 7th, you can do and eat whatever you want. What you do on the 7th doesn’t really affect what you’re doing on the other 6. Think about it another way. Let’s say you did nothing and ate anything you wanted for 6 days but on the 7th you really worked hard and had a very controlled diet. What you do on the one day you work out won’t really have much impact on your body because of what you’re doing the other 6.
Making significant progress physically or spiritually is going to take a lot of work and consistency. There will be many times you’ll have to ask yourself the following question:
How bad do I want it?
The good news is that I’ve been there before so I know what it takes, and I can do it. If you are thinking about reaching for places you’ve never been physically or spiritually, let the fact that you’re going to go into the unknown fuel you. Just know that it matters what you are doing today and tomorrow, and soon you’ll find you aren’t where you used to be.
